After saying in my last post that the Ordinary Moments were my favourite to write, here I am late with my very first one of the year! And that is because on Sunday I ended up in hospital, again. Between Eva’s ear infections, her operation in February, mine in June and this awful case of pneumonia I have been sporting for what feels like for actual ever, it seems like 2016 was full of illnesses and doctors appointments and hospitals and worry. And I am making a change.
I joked to Eddy yesterday as we made that familiar walk out of the hospital that that was it, no more hospitals or doctors, no more illness. And whilst of course I can’t actually promise that for any of us I know that what I can do is to try everything to help myself. I know everyone gives January a big health kick and by February we are all mostly back to the old habits once again but I want to get back what we used to have. I am fascinated by nutrition, in fact a few years ago in my quest to find something other than finance as my career choice, and before I found blogging, I started to study nutrition and love the research and specifically the way that feeding our body impacts on medical aspects too.
I was always the one making healthy choices when we were out, meal planning, trawling through cook books and pinterest for inspriation on home cooked, nutritious but quick family meals. This was especially true when we had Eva, I wanted to give her the healthiest start I could and especially with her having food allergies and allergies in general I wanted to set her off on a learnt and ingrained sense of nutrition and health, as alot of the time they do go hand in hand. And mostly we did, she ate pretty much anything, she had cous cous and quinoa, avocado and chai seeds, blueberries and cashew nuts. And not just the fashionable superfoods but simple, natural, home cooked goodness of brocolli and porridge (not together I must add).
However just lately with being ill and being busy and if I am honest trying to squeeze in blogging and working and school and motherhood in every single minute of the day I have lost my way a bit. Whilst the children still eat a relatively healthy diet they have lost the variety that we used to have, the joy in cooking as one and making meals a celebration, together. And more often than not I myself just skip meals entirely.
I don’t feel especially hungry and although I absolutely love healthy food and would choose a salmon and broccoli dinner over fish and chips any day of the week, I am not making time. I won’t say I don’t have time because I think that’s a bit of a cop out for me, I do have time, I just choose to use it in other ways and I need to change that now. The last few months I have lost a fair bit of weight, it wasn’t intentional and whilst I am not bothered about putting it back on one way or the other and am quite happy as I am I want to be healthier. I need to be healthier, not to get to the end of the day and realise I have not had much more than a coffee and a banana and then be too exhausted to cook anything once the children are in bed anyway.
I wouldn’t say I am an especially body confident person, I’m reasonably slim at just under 8 and half stone but also due to my petite 5 ft 2 1/2 frame (yes that half is very important!) my sausage fingers and stubby arms I have always felt I looked a little chunky too. I have wide hips and thunder thighs and it has taken me 32 years to accept that no matter what I weigh I will look like this – and that jeans will never properly fit! Ironically my best part after two children is my stomach, it’s still quite flat, I managed to avoid stretchmarks and whilst it’s not my pre pregnancy one (why didn’t I love it then?!), is a little less taught and my belly button has definitely seen better days, it has grown two babies and I am proud. But of course there isn’t much call these days for a 32 year old mother of two to go about flashing her stomach, so I have to make peace with the fact that god didn’t grace me with the skinny legs for the world to see in a swimsuit and that I am best friends with a cover-up instead. And I have, mostly, made peace with that.
The thing I would really like for my little ladies is for this all to be inconsequential, no matter if they are tall like their Daddy, small like me, or somewhere inbetween. Whether they have the exact same look as each other or totally different, for them to celebrate their bodies for what they give them and not what they don’t. To know above anything else that the most important part of their body is their health. To think of food as fuel, as good.
So even though I know I can’t control the school germs, the fact that we live in a country that never quite seems to know what season it is and that it is inevitable we will get poorly here and there, I want to make sure that we do our bit. As I have hyper mobility syndrome a rigorous fitness regime doesn’t work for me but I also want to start stretching and practicing yoga again even with the girls because they used to love it and to basically not be too busy to look after myself and my family in a way that I can.
Don’t get me wrong I won’t be juicing everything in sight, clean eating, going vegan or pouring washing up liquid over any existing chocolate in the house (true story of someone I used to know in her diet days!) but I will be making time to cook healthy meals from scratch with my little ladies. I want to teach my children that it is about keeping our bodies healthy from the inside out. Not depriving ourselves and not making a big deal but making the effort to make good choices in our diet as well as other areas in our lives and just lately I think I might have failed a bit on that side.
So this year, starting today, I will make time. This isn’t about what I won’t do, about denying a glass of wine or a biscuit, a meal out and a takeaway with friends but about being conscious, that elusive balance, and about what I will do.
I will eat breakfast, and lunch, and dinner, and snacks if I so fancy and I will make and share them together with my little ladies.
I will sit together as much as we can and not eat on the run.
I will make meals from scratch, use my slow cooker and batch cook.
I will mean plan.
I will cook with the children and make it fun.
I will drink more water, and maybe less coffee – maybe!
I will relax and practice yoga more.
I will be kind to my body, and hope that my body is kind to me.
I contemplated a ‘this is me – the start of my healthy journey’ type photo, you know the one where I pretend I wear sportswear for anything other than sitting on the sofa in and take a photo in the mirror….but that’s just not me and really no-one wants to see the thunder thighs I speak of in lycra. So here are some photos that I am so proud of, mainly because Eva took them and she is a budding little photographer with a great eye, this was before I got ill and after our amazing summer in France. I felt good, and carefree, and happy. Here’s to feeling that way again very very soon.
Linking with Katie Mummy Daddy Me for the Ordinary Moments