I am at the stage of parenting with Roma that I’m in acceptance. I know the baby days are behind us and whilst sometimes I am sad about that I have come to focus on all the amazing times to come. I am not longer sad at the lasts, or overly emotional at the firsts but into the joy of what that moment brings. I will be honest and say sometimes I don’t even look out for those moments anymore, I just like to live the day to day knowing full well that every day they both change so much that it impossible to keep track, or worry about trying. Roma especially is so keen to put herself in Eva’s shoes, to do exactly what her big sister is doing and to be able to involve herself at all times that she seems to be flying through these early years! Me on the other hand have just taken to standing back and watching with a proud smile on my face, adoring watching her with awe and wondering how she is still only 2. I do however think that in my quest for acceptance I have somehow forgotten that each and every single new skill, new adventure, new day that Roma experiences is the most exciting thing ever, for her. The amazing ones and the small ones that can so easily be missed.
On Saturday we ventured to a local water park for a wintery walk. I was expecting there to be snow seen as the rest of the country seemed to have it but alas the flurry we had in the morning had all but disappeared by the time we arrived. It was a lovely walk though, we skimmed stones across the water in the afternoon sun and we explored the area to spot wildlife. There was a Heron which stood right in front of Eva, we managed to get super close to a Robin tweeting on a branch and Roma ran after the ducks and geese shouting “HELLO” as loud as she could whilst being somewhat perplexed that they were running away into the water. Meanwhile Eva was as far away from the Geese as she could get!
The girls naturally then wanted to play on the park before heading home for a warm by the fire. It’s a park so of course the usual things are there and like I said our parenting stage dictates that now we can take a step back and watch. It is really lovely and I think helpful in the appreciation of the life we have created…or to have an actual conversation and a moment of still whilst they are happy playing together of course. They climbed, balanced, spun and bounced and then came the swing. Roma decided she wanted to go on a big swing right next to Eva. She got on and without hesitation asked to be pushed high swinging her legs back and forth beneath her tiny bottom on the black rubber seat to help the motion. She squealed with excitement and shouted over and over that she was on a big swing. ” Eva, Eva, I am on a big swing like you.” The pride in her voice as she frantically sought Eva’s attention to reinforce the joy in her eyes was just adorable.
She has, I am sure of it, been on a big swing before, she has sat on my knee, she has wanted to join Eva and sat whilst I hovered close by in case those little fingers couldn’t quite grasp the metal links as the momentum built up, or her bottom slid off the side with her little legs not quite able to reach the floor. I was there for her when she got braver that she should and didn’t think about the consequences, I was always literally right there. Now though, what seems like all of a sudden she was just capable, not only that but absolutely loved it.
That snapshot in time right there and she looked so very grown up. They both did, just looking at the two of them side by side swinging high in the air and back again with the biggest of grins just melted me. I looked at Eddy as we stood by and I am just so proud to call these little people mine. I know I have said it before but this stage of parenting has been long awaited and it still surprises me. The kind of parenting where you are not fully immersed in the moment and you have the ability to stand back and watch, even just a little bit. Noone ever really told me how amazing that would feel, or the mix of emotions that comes with being so happy this time has come and somewhat craving for them to need you that little bit more. Motherhood ey!
But I think you can see on her face that she is just so happy in this very second, her beaming smile in all directions but especially towards Eva makes my heart melt more than I ever thought possible, smiling with her eyes that they might just possibly be in the same club now, together! I swear she thinks that every little thing she now does the same it means she is catching her up. I couldn’t help when I got back home than to look at this picture I took on Roma’s very first birthday almost two years ago (and yes she is wearing the same hat!) It is still one of my very favourites ever but I just cannot believe the difference, her face, her eyes, her chubby little hands and stumpy legs gone and not to mention, the baby swing is no more.
We might be saying goodbye to the baby swing but more importantly we are saying hello to the big girl swing and really that huge smile and wide mouthed grin is all the same in my eyes.
Linking with Donna What the Redhead said for the Ordinary Moments