As I sit to write this post I can hear my little ladies downstairs with their Daddy, there is laughter and squeals and it’s enough to get me running down those stairs to join them. I am in bed on day 4 of tonsillectomy recovery and my goodness do I miss them like crazy. Eva comes in to me in the morning, after school and before bed. She lies with me, reads to me and tells me about her day. Today I got to go downstairs and spend some time with R too, she chanted my name, talked and talked and she cuddled into me more than she has done for such a long time. I got as close as I could and soaked it all in, she smells like candy floss and fresh air all mixed in this beautifully intoxicating scent, I definitely take it for granted how much they are a constant for me and for each other. The bit I miss the most though is seeing them together, they bring out in each other such joy, contentment and of course utter mischief.
I knew the time would come, the update that would include a little bit of the natural sibling rivalry sneaking in and indeed here we are. Of course there have been times over the past almost a year and a half that one or the other has been less than 100% happy in each others company but really it has been pretty plain sailing and mostly just talking to Eva or removing the littlest from the situation is all that is required. The last month however that littlest lady has decided to have much more of a say in their relationship, to talk more, to articulate her views and to ensure she makes them heard. And shout loud if they are not! It is a learning curve for both of them and challenges all that Eva has learnt about being a big sister so far.
They are still so lovely together and Eva is definitely a mini Mummy always trying to keep her little sister safe and do what she thinks is best. Even if that ‘best’ is from the misguided opinions of a head strong 5 year old! But there are more shouts from the playroom that R has ‘ruined’ something Eva was working on or that she wants to get more involved than Eva is comfortable with and of course the inevitable screaming from R when she deems the confiscation of something to be unfair justice.
I of course fully expected this to happen at some point, it is only natural and on the most part it is still such a small part of their loving relationship, they now bicker here and there and that is ok. What I wasn’t fully expecting though was to love this stage just as much as the aforementioned loving relationship that flourishes beneath it all. That I would find it endearing and amusing just as much as exhausting and frustrating. That I need to learn just as much as they do, to stifle the muted giggles or to dive into the kitchen out of sight when I just can’t stop with fond memories resurfacing of the same silly fights with my two sisters.
You see I am the youngest of three girls, hindsight is a wonderful thing and it is funny to watch them tease each other, to nudge one another just because and hope that they don’t get seen, I see the signs and I know them well. What I also know is that it is amazing, I tell them to leave one another alone, to play separately but that’s the thing – that’s the beauty and the magic – they just don’t want to. They love it too. There is nothing like the security of being able to be yourself. If they are lucky in life they will find that person that gets them, that one person with whom they can be sad and happy and silly and cross and still be friends at the end of it. But maybe just maybe they won’t need to, because in sibings, in sisters this is it. It’s fierce, it’s instinctive, its born.
I can see it now, the arguments to come “mum she did this” “mum she touched my leg” “mum she breathed in my direction” I have been there and done that. And I can’t wait to see them along this journey too. To learn with them, to somehow decode and teach them about the love of a sibling that is so strong it can go through torture, physical pain and emotional turmoil and easily come out the other side. To teach them all about relationships when this one is the test. Still love so deep that there isn’t much that can break that bond. And that as much as they want to wind one another up and push their button they also know the quick fixes, the way to make one another smile from ear to ear, giggle like no-one else can, to live this childhood not for them, not above them but with them. To go out of their way to be kind and be loyal and be their sister.
If we get through the teenage years them still being friends with me and each other I will give myself a pat on the back but for now, for now it is amusing stories to witness and to record and to laugh at from day to day.
They are protective and fierce and loving and wild. They are sisters. They are friends. They are mine.