The last month we have been trying to make the most of all of us, not just Me and Mine but each of us individually and the different relationships that there are within us four. I think you start to realise when you have more than one child that you can’t do everything. You cannot possibly be 100% true to any one person all of the time and whereas life was always focused on Eva, and in turn on each of us individually and as a couple, as soon as you add another one into the mix, at least for me, it has become all a bit muddled, like it is hard to dedicate special time to any one of those relationships without undervaluing the other, or feeling the pang of guilt.
Thus far in our parenting two children journey I think it has still been a main focus on Eva, on her likes and schedule, on taking the time to appreciate her, making her feel valued when she isn’t at school and the demands that the school run and school events govern. Mostly also because Roma has been happy enough and young enough to come along for the ride. To enjoy life through her sisters likes. And she has. She is I guess still happy to do this (other than the actual ride, the school run in the car is rarely an easy job every day between falling asleep and just not wanting to be there!) but I am getting to a place recently that I really want to make sure we appreciate her as an individual too, to really hone in on her personality and her likes and dislikes and not just to let her tag along in my days at home as I get things done.
Part of this has come from the fact that this month has seen Roma start nursery one day a week. I have been ridiculously emotional about it and the fact that suddenly my last baby has grown up within what feels like a blink of the eye, seriously I want to cry even writing that. It must seem like this is ridiculous as she has been with me at home for so long that of course I have soaked her in, and I know that I have tried to, I think maybe it is never enough, or maybe because she has been with me I have taken her for granted, as a given, I don’t know but what I do know is that it has changed my way of thinking for us all. That time goes on and that you never really know what is around the corner.
So this month has been about everyone and I have to say it feels pretty good. I feel like I have my time, not only to get things done, to blog, to vlog and love it again but in order to really appreciate the time I have with everyone else which is so important to gain that perspective.
I have enjoyed trying to vlog more and get organised to do more in the future too, to capture the ordinary days that I don’t want to forget and to focus on the little positives in a day which is of course filled with both good and bad as we all know parenting goes. I loved going into Eva’s school and spending some time with her as a mothers day treat. I have never felt more like a Mum as I stood at the doors in a line with all the other Mums waiting to go in, even though it isn’t much different to every other day at the school gates, somehow it felt so much more special! I will be honest that I have been feeling super emotional and a little anxious at the moment with life and what I think it comes down to is that time is speeding along and I do just want to soak it up, live in it as much as document it for the future and I am working on getting this balance for sure.
Eva has loved so much this month, she is really getting into her yoga lessons at school, has enjoyed two ‘own clothes’ days which of course as a school child are the most exciting ever, and getting lots of praise for having the best, most glowing parents evening report. She has gone up a reading level again and is now free reading which she adores and we are so proud of her. She is enjoying being outside care free before her allergies hit and has even been so brave for my little nervous girl and gone to a friends birthday party by herself too. It’s definitely a proud month here.
Roma has loved nursery school more than I could ever have imagined, is getting so good at doing puzzles herself and her obsession with dolls seems to have gone crazy this month too. She also enjoyed having Mummy and Daddy all to herself for a few hours when Eva was at a party.
Eddy has loved going to see football and to play football (although the swollen knee the day after wasn’t so pretty) and making the most of the lighter evenings and milder weather to get jobs done around the house.
As Sunday was Mothers day we went on a little picnic and although I feel awful about the fact that I didn’t get any photos of just me and the girls (something which I am going to remedy this weekend) I did take the chance to get this months family photos. As usual I really wish there were two of me to be both behind and in front of the camera and there is only 1 photo where we are all looking! But also as usual it isn’t just about the smiles and full faces (although wouldn’t that be the dream) but the little things you see. The smiles, the muddy knees, the missing teeth, the tickles behind the ear, the family fist bump that Roma is obsessed with, the stone collecting little hands and even the laughter lines and double chins.
This is us right now, mischievous distracted children, acrobat wannabe husband and resigned to it all little old me!
And of course some outtakes for good measure!