What a difference a month makes! Last months siblings photos were all wooly hats and winter coats and now all of a sudden we have been loving the sunshine with everything we have. You know, just in case it gets scared away and we have to dig out the yellow hats and coats again!
I find that the milder weather makes so many things easier and one of the big ones is the ability to stand back and watch the children together. Outside parenting is just so much easier somehow, much more relaxed and I love nothing more than being able to soak in all their quirks with each other whilst they explore. Which we are lucky to have done a lot this month.
I have noticed more and more recently how even though the girls are almost always in the same place, they are often doing different things. Almost like a comfort in being with someone you don’t have to talk to or entertain and just the safety of having someone there. Either that or it is the start of them growing apart and their age gap widening. I’ve always worried that 4 years is quite a lot and it was never the plan. I worried all along that they would never be close and have been so overwhelmed at how close they have become. These last few years have been the best, the most joyful watching them bond and play almost exclusively together, yet I’ve worried more this month if maybe there is an expiration date. Where Eva just gets that little bit grown up to play down to Roma anymore. Where Eva’s childhood innocence is dissipating as she learns more about the world. Or where Roma just can’t keep up. Is this it?
I watch and see Roma running after Eva who is getting more independent and confident as she is desperate to catch her. But can’t. I find myself asking Eva to stop or wait but that feels wrong too. Whilst there is no malice there at all, Eva adores playing with Roma and having her around, I feel like we are on this clock of how long they will truly play together, where one doesn’t have to compromise for the other and the gap will become as wide again as when they were a newborn and a four year old. I’m really not sure I’m ready for that because my most favourite thing ever is watching them together.
I know that sounds cheesy and people don’t want siblings glorified because it isn’t all sunshine and roses and yes of course that’s true. Sometimes they fight like cat and dog and I think it would be easier with one as I can’t split myself in two and I have to choose who gets to play their way. Or gets my attention. But it is also true that I love it more than anything in the world and more than I ever thought was possible. So I’m sticking with that. My truth. The thing that makes my heart feel like it might actually burst.
So even though we may be on a different road soon, and we might be in a transition right now, it has been a lovely month for these two. Roma still adores anything and everything that Eva does and aspires to be just like her, whilst also keeping her own uniqueness – which in itself is some kind of magic formula she has there. Eva also seeks Roma out to show her things and tell her all about her day and I know wouldn’t be without her.
These photos were taken when we visited the bluebell woods the same as last year and I love them. They weren’t in the mood to be taking lots of photos and I think in a lot you can see the divide that I talk about here, and they were just far too busy wanting to go off adventuring that to stop for photos for Mummy. You can’t blame them really in a place perfect for it can you? Then I looked back at last years photos and I couldn’t beleive how much change there was. The big kind of change that you miss day to day. Despite always taking photos, always thinking I am soaking them in, it still comes as a shock to look back and see how big they got! Therefore I know that one day I will think of these photos like that too. There was a time I couldn’t help but get them both in the shot as they were stuck to each other like glue, and these days it is hard to get them together as they are off in the distance, but I guess that’s siblings, that is parenting and two days, two years are never ever the same. I still wouldn’t change it for the world.