At the moment my life feels a little hectic, a bit crazy and not particularly productive. I seem to have so much on, to-do lists in every direction, feeling like I am half doing everything and a frazzled mind that is increasingly hard to switch off. My blogging life has taken a step back, we are catching last minute meals on a more regular basis with later and disturbed nights meaning alot less sleep than usual too. And yet as we come to the end of these two weeks school holidays, I feel sad. As I close the curtains, read the story and kiss goodnight to my Little Lady that I miss so so terribly when she is at school; I feel like I would really like to re-wind and have these two weeks again, and again. My adult life may feel slightly out of control but all I really want to do is soak up every single last minute with my Little Ladies. All I really crave is to stop and be with them, present in the moment with nothing else to do.
Today we had our very first ever pyjama day, like we actually stayed in our pyjamas all day! For us this is a big deal. E thought it was a little strange and we definitely had some initial skepticism from my very specific 5 year old who likes to follow the rules and not deviate too much from the norm! I guess that’s down to me, I am undoubtedly the kind of person who likes to get ready, to get dressed no sooner than I open my eyes and step a tentative foot out of bed in a morning. To be ready for whatever the day may bring – some days knowing full well that all this means is going nowhere, seeing no-one and just getting changed again come bedtime. However it feels right, it makes me feel human, to feel like me. Even in the early newborn days I always grabbed 5 minutes to throw some clothes on and feel like I could do anything if the mood took me, to go out or indeed if someone popped around unannounced.
I have always been like this but having the children has definitely made me even more so – you have to grab the chance whilst you can! That does mean I set my alarm before the children awaken in the mornings so that I can have 10 minutes to not have to shower and dress with one ear and eye out for trouble, or have to abandon brushing my teeth to wipe a bum, or a tear. But today I abandoned all of that (well lets face it I just put pyjamas on as I would have my clothes but humour me here) and I had a lovely day. A much needed, yearned for relaxed day where we spent most of it in the playroom, doing just that – playing.
I watched in my little bubble wondering yet again how time just flies and how they grow and change without me noticing. How they are growing away from me and toward each other, I love to see that and E said it so plainly today when she turned to me after having a giggling fit with R and said “That’s why I have a sister”. And in that moment, and as they grow I know that it was worth it, that having siblings is the best and that we are a team. As a mother I can only nurture and hope that this continues for them; forever. Today though we laughed at one anothers words, jokes and accents, we drank tea – both pretend and real, they rolled around and ironically ‘dressed up’. I felt like it was one of those relaxed weekend mornings that just so happened to last all day. There is nothing like the innocent laughter of your children to allow you to really breathe in the moment and stop.
R is starting to talk so much at the moment and her personality is coming through more and more as each day goes by. Today as she chatted and copied everything we said, pottering around the playroom in her new pale pink pyjamas adorned with bunnies and bows that E had picked out for her and as always clutching some sort of soft toy in her hand, what she chose to play with was the trains and the builders belt. Quite how a 14 month old knows what to do with a hammer when I am almost positive she has never seen one in action is just a testament to what they pick up and how in such a short space of life she can have learnt so much. I swear before having children I used to think even 5 year olds were still so little yet now as a mother of one it is far from the truth – or maybe I will change my mind on this when she is a teenager!
Tomorrow we are going on a day out, to spend the time together before normal service resumes on Monday and to find somewhere new to explore. I am so excited, we are not only going to a place I have never been but we are meeting one of my sisters and her family. It will be a very different day, one full of outdoors, of adventures, of long drives and smiling faces. And I only hope that as tomorrow comes to a close, as we drive the hour and a quarter home with tired children and happy hearts that I feel even half as content as I feel tonight.
Big days, small days, any days I am just so glad that I get to spend them with these two crazy, wild, adorable Little Ladies.
When they are near each other there needn’t be anyone else in the room. Eyes full of love and lungs full of laughter.
I love R’s expression here, yes she is happier in a builders belt than with flowers on her head but she was laughing right until I pointed the camera at her!
Joining the lovely Katie over at Mummy Daddy Me for “The Ordinary Moments”