June has been jam packed for us yet again, as I look back over the photo’s I can’t actually believe that we have managed to do so much in one short month and realise just why it feels like time is speeding by in a flash. Why I look at the photo’s and wonder where my baby went and how in a few short weeks Eva will have finished her first school year. There are so many reasons this month that I just want to hold them tight, to keep them safe and feel secure in return. Continue reading →
Names, does it get more ordinary than a name? Than the hundreds of times a day I must say the names of my Little Ladies whether that is telling them just how much I love them with a huge squeeze or a whisper in their ear like it’s our own little secret, letting them know dinner is ready and hearing the stampede from wherever they are in the house at the mere prospect of food, or indeed with a more stern voice that I can in fact see the mischief they are getting up to even though I am in another room as they wonder just how on earth I always seem to keep an eye on them. This isn’t to mention the many many more times I actually hear their names, from other people, friends, family and now from each other, it is an ordinary moment which never gets old.
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The front door opens with a creek, I step a foot inside the hall, my head still spinning with the work I just left behind and then I hear it. I hear faint voices, muted laughter and an echo, which teamed with the open stair gate in front of me beckons me up the stairs, my tired legs and little feet can barely make it up the 13 soft carpet covered steps before those little voices turn into excited shouts “Mum, Mum, Mum, Mama, Mama, Mama”. I made it to bath time. Continue reading →
As I sit and write this it is Saturday evening and it is raining, raining so heavily in fact that it woke me up! After a lovely but busy day celebrating the Mr’s birthday we put my Little Ladies to bed and I lay there on mine to ensure all was quiet and they were in fact asleep before I went downstairs, just like I do every night, yet within minutes it was me whom was asleep. Fast forward 2 hours and the drumming of the rain on the open windows, the water spitting on the windowsill was enough to wake me and realise I needed to come and write this post. Continue reading →
Before I had children I thought parents had “time off”, that there were days or evenings when other people would look after their children and that they would feel like themselves again, like themselves somehow got lost along the way. Then I had a child, I became a mother and it isn’t the case at all, I changed forever the very moment this little person came into the world, I was now a mother and whether I had my children with me or or not, that never changes. I am still myself, just a different version of it. I will never ever be the same, I will never ever not be a mother. Not think about my children in everything I do. And for all the exhaustion, mummy guilt and worry that brings I would not change it for the world. Continue reading →
It’s no secret that I love half term, that I miss E so much when she is at school that each and every week I contemplate keeping her home with me to spend each minute with her that I can and soak it up, to attempt to turn back the time to the days when all we saw was each other. I can’t quite actually believe that we are quickly heading toward her finishing her first year. Continue reading →
May has been a really busy month again, life isn’t showing any signs of slowing down and for the most part that is ok, we enjoy times together making memories and sharing our days/weekends with friends and family. Making the most of the every day and this month has been no exception.
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Motherhood is all consuming, it has amazing indescribable highs and crushing lows, sometimes all in one small day. As I sit here it’s Sunday morning and I haven’t blogged for a week. I am not at a loss as what to write, in fact I have lots to say, lots to share, draft posts all over the place and every single night I ‘write’ a post or two in my head as I lie in bed processing the day that is behind me and the one in front. As we end the day, as the evening draws in I always feel motivated to sit and write and have all intentions of doing that once the children are asleep. Now this is where it comes unstuck. Continue reading →
This week has been a very ordinary one, very busy filled with work, school, the Mr working and out alot and me doing plenty of solo parenting and bedtimes, the usual household shopping, cooking, cleaning and days going by without you even realising it. So ordinary that I contemplated not writing a post this week, that really I had nothing to say and no particular photos to share either. Continue reading →
Today is International Hyperemesis Awareness Day.
I am all too aware of that word. I have written about my hyperemesis story before and I thought that was all I had to say. All I could share. Yet I sit here tonight and I can’t stop thinking about it. I don’t want it to define me, to govern my every day and to be honest it has left things so raw I don’t think I could. Yet it has changed me immeasurably, changed my view on my family, my relationship with my first born child, her own outlook on pregnancy, the dynamics, my view of myself, pretty much every aspect of my life. We move on, and to the outsider who knows no different we are just like anyone else. I was a little bit sick in pregnancy but here I am the other side and that’s just a story now. But it never ever goes away, never leaves your mind and I still wouldn’t want any other women to have to go through it. I can’t forget it. If I forget it I am afraid that will mean I forget the life that never was, I can’t do that, I can’t fail them again. Continue reading →